How to Cultivate EP Allies in Executives’ Families

When developing and implementing an executive protection (EP) plan, don’t forget to factor in someone who can make or break your program—the executive’s spouse.

Chief executives and other corporate leaders are often risk-accepting—it’s part of their day-to-day roles—and this leads them to discount EP needs and potential threats, says Tim Wenzel, CPP, associate managing director for the enterprise security risk management (ESRM) practice at Kroll. Wenzel has also worked on EP strategy experience for high-net-worth individuals at Meta and other major organizations. However, spouses and family members are often much less accepting of these risks leaking into their personal safety and home lives. But EP professionals are not guaranteed an ally here; they must proceed with nuance and adaptability.

“An executive’s spouse has the power to almost singlehandedly kill an executive protection program,” Wenzel says.

Every executive comes with a home of some kind, and these are often viewed as sanctuaries where work shouldn’t intrude. But the home and the office are the two most likely places to find and interact with an executive, making them a prime target for people wanting to disrupt or harm the individual.

But the spouse did not take that high-profile job and might not want to be in the limelight, and they want to select household staff that will help protect that privacy. Spouses and family members might see EP professionals—especially those who come from a law enforcement or military background and handle the EP mission formally—as disruptive to their lifestyle and how they want to maintain their home environment, Wenzel says.

“When you get involved with the family side and you get involved with residences, you have to understand the environment they want so you can maintain it,” he says. “Then you have to choose a team and train them to recreate that environment.”

For instance, EP professionals for technology executives might need to dress and act more casually—going against the image of a Secret Service style bodyguard and dressing to blend into the neighborhood more. It might also mean being flexible around unconventional schedules, such as if the executive’s workday starts at noon and he or she keeps working on projects from a home office until 2:00 or 3:00 a.m.

“How do you create a security system to accommodate that type of activity?” Wenzel asks.

In a private environment like a home, security will require a lot of trust and education about the principal’s needs, he adds. “You have to be open-minded enough to offer a menu of options.”

An executive’s spouse has the power to almost singlehandedly kill an executive protection program.

Consider how executives and their families want to use their homes and navigate the world, Wenzel advises. Then, see how you can fit EP into those routines. For example, if a principal’s wife does not want actively monitored surveillance of the backyard where she plays with her children during the afternoon, the EP team can find a compromise—not actively monitoring those areas during the day but ramping up perimeter patrols during those times or adding non-video sensors to help with early intrusion detection while maintaining a sense of privacy.

These will not be one-and-done discussions, Wenzel warns. EP leaders will need to continue to reevaluate and adapt security to the principal’s risk profile, emerging threats, and the family’s needs. But having an open dialogue engages protectees in their own protection, which helps with buy-in.

“The residential piece is the hard part because that’s when the executive really feels like they’re being intruded upon,” says Dave Komendat, former longtime VP and CSO for Boeing and current founder of Komendat Risk Management Services. Executives expect a level of security and protection while they are on the clock or at the office, but the home environment is a whole different story. This is when getting that buy-in and developing customized procedures makes a big difference.

“It goes back to explaining the why,” Komendat says. “A lot of times what’s really helpful is getting the spouse involved in a positive way so that he or she understands that the residential piece can be done at a distance and without impacting—to the greatest extent possible—their daily routines in their homes. Residential security is really about having great alarm systems, strengthening doors and windows, having an appropriate place for people to go to if there’s an issue or emergency in the house, and really good exterior lighting that discourages people from approaching the home.”

It also necessitates a good home security plan so executives and their family members have situational awareness of what’s normal on the property and where incidents are more likely to happen, such as entryways, so they can be extra alert there.

“It’s not about creating fear,” Komendat says. “It’s about creating comfort in their home. There are a lot of ways that you can positively do it, but the reality is—you can install these really sophisticated security systems, and the vast majority of times they don’t use them right.”

EP teams need to assess how systems are currently used, educate principals, and make appropriate adjustments, he adds.

Open conversations can also uncover the deeper meaning behind resistance to EP suggestions, Wenzel says. Many CEOs are reluctant to add too much overt security because they feel embarrassed around their friends, or they think having a close protection detail could impact their reputation. EP leaders can offer more subtle alternatives, including using an advance team and protective intelligence to watch for threats and adapt on the fly. They can also find on-property alternatives, such as outfitting a large closet or a wine cellar with reinforced walls and a sturdier door instead of building a fortified panic room in the executive’s house.

It’s not about creating fear. It’s about creating comfort in their home.

Wenzel recommends posing several questions to executives and family members to kick off these creative conversations about security: Do you feel safe? In what circumstances do you not feel safe? What would you want to feel more safe in these situations? Do you feel like you have the ability to communicate at all times if you’re in trouble?

“We’ve conditioned ourselves to think they don’t want to talk to us and they don’t want us to be their friends,” he says. “But when they need to talk to us, we should make sure that they can.”

EP teams can simplify communication by using a single duty phone line for protectees to connect with the team on-site by text or call, rather than trying to always connect with the team lead, who may or may not be on site.  

The protectees can also get involved in defining what constitutes a security failure to them, Wenzel adds. It won’t be feasible to stop every person trying to scale a fence (at least not without heavily fortifying the residence, which is usually unwelcome), but how far into the property is a failure of security? What about an undetected intrusion—is that a security failure?  From here, the family and EP team can collaborate to find appropriate mitigation measures and establish procedures on incident response and review.

“We have to be creative, and we have to run these ideas by the family and let them know, especially in an emergency situation, we’re not going to get to perfect right away,” he adds. “So, if you see things that you think are wrong or are annoying, if you don’t like something, if there are things you do not want your kids to witness… let us know what those things are. Let us know what we’re doing that you feel is infringing on those things, and we’ll have the conversation about how to manage this concept and make it work.”

This will often require some gentle education for the protectee about why the EP team is doing those things, the potential threat, the risks involved, and how the team is monitoring to understand if a threat scenario is happening. This can help overcome some hesitancy around some security initiatives, and it also helps them own their risk decisions and find ways to compensate for less visibility.

“One of the things that you really do need to help them understand is the higher touch the service, the more meaningful the engagement and commitment you need from them,” Wenzel says.

“You’ll hear executives sometimes say, ‘I just want to be like everybody else,’” says Komendat. “And the reality is, when you’re making multiples of millions of dollars every year, and you’re in the media—in print, on TV, or both—you’re not like everybody else… There has to be a conversation with people so that they understand that as much as they want to be just like you or I, they’re not. And because they’re not, there’s additional risk that’s posed, and additional steps are appropriate.”

Wenzel adds, “In the family environment, we need to become comfortable with discomfort, and we need to become excellent conversationalists.”

Claire Meyer is editor-in-chief of Security Management. Connect with her on LinkedIn or email her directly at [email protected].