That’s Strange: This Organized Crime Ring Could Be Serious

When Security Management started the institution of the monthly Strange Security roundup—and yes, after more than three years, I’m declaring Strange Security an institution—we acknowledged that there may come a time when news important to the world of corporate security would occur, and we would have to delay or cancel one installment to allow for coverage of the important news event. Finally, after 38 editions of Strange Security, we must interrupt the monthly installment of the wonderfully weird, wild, and downright strange security-adjacent news to cover news of profound importance.

That news involves organized crime activity that may just portend the end of the human race. If not the end, then at least a massive struggle for world dominance. What makes this story so incredibly profound is not the tactics, which are simple snatch-and-grabs all the way. It’s not the location, although the perpetuators brazenly commit their heinous acts in the shadows of a religious site. It’s not even the ill-gotten booty, which consists of items people carry around every day. No, what makes these crimes so troubling is the identity of the criminal masterminds behind them: long-tailed macaques.

That’s right, here’s a description of the activity from The Wall Street Journal:

“At a cliff-side temple on the tropical island of Bali, an unexpected group of criminals is running one of the world’s most sophisticated scam operations. Every week, they steal dozens of phones, wallets, and other valuables from tourists in broad daylight and exchange them for handsome rewards. It’s been going on for decades and nobody’s been able to stop it.”

Now, you may not think that a group of monkeys that has learned to snatch sunglasses, purses, cell phones, and the like, and then trade them for junk food or bananas is not a serious threat. But I ask you, have you seen Dawn of the Planet of the Apes? Or War for the Planet of the Apes? Or any episodes of Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp? The level of sophistication of these Bali macaques is not some curiosity; it should be a giant alarm siren for humanity. Take a look at this clip, where a fearless simian snatches a sandal right off a foot:

But to truly understand the danger here, let’s dissect this clip:

The first thing to notice is the cavalier way the woman is walking with her phone. These devices, which have as much computing power as the entire Apollo spacecraft yet fit in a pocket, have become outside-the-body human organs, as important to most people as a liver or stomach. They are smart devices, and humans have likely become dumber because of them. Do you think this woman could find her way back to her hotel without her phone? Me neither. And yet, she is so confident in human superiority that she holds it loosely at her side without a care in the world.

Next, notice how the macaque stealthily waits for its moment and dexterously snatches the phone before the woman can do anything.

Finally, these monkeys have begun to understand the value of these devices. Notice how the thief refuses the banana ransom, holding out for the energy boost provided by the refined-sugar-filled chocolate bar. Who can look at this video and not understand that one day, maybe soon, these long-tailed marauders will figure out how to use these devices, not just barter with them? Then where will we be? It is time for humankind to wake up to the real dangers in the world. Protect your companies and yourselves accordingly.

Next month, assuming we still live in a human society where corporate security matters, we will compile strange security-related stories from two months' worth of news—it should be wild. Until then, hold on tight to those phones and flip flops!